The sign

How could a small straight line change forever....everything? It's amazing how little things can change the way you view bigger things in your life.

How could those two straight colored lines rearranged my life in just a few seconds. It was like heaven dropped on me when I saw the sign. I kept on staring at it for a few seconds before it really knocked me off my mind that I had to hit the shower. I wasn't really sure what I was doing, what I was feeling. I just wanted to stay home and lie there all day long. I wanted to cry and just pop out of the scene for a while. I wanted to ignore what I saw but I can't.

People seemed so happy about what they have just learned. How could they when my eyes goes right through them when they smile and congratulated me. My mind was blank. I guess I was more worried and scared than ever before. I was suddenly like trapped in a box without any windows or door to go out and breathe in and out to. I felt like I am alone again. I am scared of so many things. I dreaded this day but the sign gave me away.

For the past few days, I was already anxious because I know I never missed it. Everytime I check it I get so frustrated that it was a false alarm. I was still hoping that this one is an exception but my instincts tells me otherwise.

I am like a college girl confronted with this unwanted thing. I know there's no one to blame but me. I guess I am alone again. Right now I want to stand at the edge of the cliff or jump off the golden gate bridge of Francisco. Those two lines presents an insurmountable feeling, a load of anxiety, opened the gates of an unexplained feeling of being lost.....