I've been staring at the monitor for hours now. I am mad and I can't seem to control how I feel. There are some baggages that I cannot unload and it keeps on adding up. Even when I was a child I could hardly express myself verbally. That's why I know that I don't have in me that public speaking skill but I am trying my very best to improve on that. Even the simplest things I cannot explain or elaborate which is more often than not misunderstood. This is the best that I can do...write it off. At least, here I have the time to organize my thoughts and further expound my ideas for a more clear, precise and thorough opinion.
When does truth starts and imagination ends? How do I know that everything is for real? There are certain things that I am quite sure of. The air that I breathe, the sun that rises everyday, the moon and stars that makes the sky bright everytime we look up in the sky. I know I cannot see nor really understand its science but I can recognize and appreciate its beauty and nature.
Can't find the answer to my questions which have long been confusing me. Sometimes I wonder how things are going to end up. What am I supposed to do with what I've started? There are certain questions in my mind that just keep on playing like a broken record.
I feel like I am trapped in a box with no windows and doors. I cannot breathe. I am uncertain of what the outside world might look like or if there is anything at all worth waiting for. I am too afraid to discover that it will just be the same empty feeling. It pains me everytime I think of losing but I have no guts, I lack the strength and have no will to fight for it.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
"A Nation Aborted: Rizal, American Hegemony and Philippine Nationalism"
The book, authored by Floro Quibuyen, sends a message that Rizal never equated being Filipino with Hispanzation therefore, he is not an assimilationist nor anti-revolution. The author invites the reader to revisit and reread Rizal, rethink his project, revision Philippine Nationalism and to recover a lost history and vision.
It rationalized that the prevailing orthodoxy on Rizal and Philipine nationalis rests on fundamental theoretical and historiographic errors which resulted on a misrepresentation of Rizal and the ideological struggles of his day.
Filipinos have long been chained tothe idea that Rizal was an assimilationist and that he disfavors revolution. Renato Constantino's Veneration Without Understanding inched through a paradigm shift. It made a pivotal turn on our view of Rizal and the ideological struggles that Rizal perpetuated.
In a nutshell, it was telling us that Rizal is an American-sponsored hero. We should not let the errors of the past continue because we may never achieve our goals if we try to cling on to the ideas that has been presented to the different generations.
The book is based on the author's doctoral dissertation at the University of Hawaii. Unlike Constantino's work on Rizal, the book concentrated on patronizing and almost worshipping Rizal. Was he a revolutionary? Why did he work for Hispanization?
The author harnessed and cited documented testimonies from his associates, contemporaries and biographers to support the view that Rizal was a Revolutionary.
Pio Valenzuela further attested to this as the author cited his 1914 memoirs as Dr. Rizal said :
... Should the Katipunan be discovered, naturally you would take to the field. Do not allow yourselves to be killed. If they intend to kill you why should you allow youreves to be killed. In this sense, revolution is right.....
Quibuyen then lamented:
...The problem was not Rizal after all. all along the problem has been with our historians who, an unwittingly reproducing American colonial discourse on Rizal and the Philippine nationalist movement of the nineteenth century failed to read the popular imagination and the spirit of times....
Our history was recalled from the point of view of the foreigners. We had let them rule over our past and it is time to make a move that we institutionalize what Rizal, Bonifacio and other heroes had done for us. We did not only allow the colonizers to step and conquer our land but also we gave them permission to rule over our hearts. We may be blinded by the colonial mentality that we possess but it will never take away the fact that we are still not independent until we are united as one physically, emotionally and spiritually.
Quibuyen's work transforms and strengthens not that of Spaniards or Americans but of our own history. It does not invoke revolution but it merely corrects history, clearing away the cobwebs of the past and helping Filipinos .... uplift a nation aborted.
It rationalized that the prevailing orthodoxy on Rizal and Philipine nationalis rests on fundamental theoretical and historiographic errors which resulted on a misrepresentation of Rizal and the ideological struggles of his day.
Filipinos have long been chained tothe idea that Rizal was an assimilationist and that he disfavors revolution. Renato Constantino's Veneration Without Understanding inched through a paradigm shift. It made a pivotal turn on our view of Rizal and the ideological struggles that Rizal perpetuated.
In a nutshell, it was telling us that Rizal is an American-sponsored hero. We should not let the errors of the past continue because we may never achieve our goals if we try to cling on to the ideas that has been presented to the different generations.
The book is based on the author's doctoral dissertation at the University of Hawaii. Unlike Constantino's work on Rizal, the book concentrated on patronizing and almost worshipping Rizal. Was he a revolutionary? Why did he work for Hispanization?
The author harnessed and cited documented testimonies from his associates, contemporaries and biographers to support the view that Rizal was a Revolutionary.
Pio Valenzuela further attested to this as the author cited his 1914 memoirs as Dr. Rizal said :
... Should the Katipunan be discovered, naturally you would take to the field. Do not allow yourselves to be killed. If they intend to kill you why should you allow youreves to be killed. In this sense, revolution is right.....
Quibuyen then lamented:
...The problem was not Rizal after all. all along the problem has been with our historians who, an unwittingly reproducing American colonial discourse on Rizal and the Philippine nationalist movement of the nineteenth century failed to read the popular imagination and the spirit of times....
Our history was recalled from the point of view of the foreigners. We had let them rule over our past and it is time to make a move that we institutionalize what Rizal, Bonifacio and other heroes had done for us. We did not only allow the colonizers to step and conquer our land but also we gave them permission to rule over our hearts. We may be blinded by the colonial mentality that we possess but it will never take away the fact that we are still not independent until we are united as one physically, emotionally and spiritually.
Quibuyen's work transforms and strengthens not that of Spaniards or Americans but of our own history. It does not invoke revolution but it merely corrects history, clearing away the cobwebs of the past and helping Filipinos .... uplift a nation aborted.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Marikina - the Clean and Green City
A plan is only good as it is implemented. A successful implementation of a policy or program can be attributed to many factors like leadership, structure, process of the organization and the resources committed, technology, support, implementer's capability, compliance and responsiveness, nature of cooperation required, availability of skillful and committed people to manage its implementation.
Best example is the "Basura Mo, Alagaan Mo" program that was launched by the Marikina City government last 2000 under the leadership of then Mayor Bayani Fernando. The program was a response to the burgeoning problem on solid waste management. The city government adopted measures and took steps to ensure a healthy and clean environment for all. Responsibility for the enforcement of environmental laws on cleanliness, sanitation, solid waste management and other environmental matters were devolved to the LGUs as provided in the local government code (RA 7160). They were given the over-all responsibility to decide how communities' solid waste will be managed. Its responsibility lies in determining how services should be provided, who provides the service, and under what conditions this takes place.
The increasing urbanization, rapid swelling population and intensifying economic activities have all contributed to the generation of solid wastes. Education on solid waste management is very important not only to promote awareness but also to encourage one to be involved in its proper practice. But education cannot be achieved within the confines of schools alone. Being the sources/generators of garbage, people should assume responsibility in its proper management. The program erases the notion that government is solely responsible for garbage collection and disposal. It bears noting that Marikina residents generates 700 cubic meters of garbage which contributes to an average of 6 kilos of garbage in Metro Manila daily.
Way way before, Marikina was abundant with garbage everywhere - public markets, creeks, waterways and the Marikina river. The collection was only 20% of its garbage stockpile of uncollected garbage that was literally all over town. These scenario only resorted to the worsening of floods because of the clogged drainage system which can be attributed to improper waste disposal of the residents.
To reinforce the program, Goya Philippines was contacted by the city government to produce million pieces of "clean and green" candies which were being distributed to private and public elementary schools in the city. In the wrapper of the candies is an instruction which reads "Kung walang basurahang mapagtatapunan, mumunting basura ibulsa muna". This message was also encouraged to be passed on to family, friends and neighbors.
How did it measure up to its effectiveness? What were the factors that can be attributed to its success? Let me count the ways:
1. Social Acceptability and Social Preparation. The culture of discipline that the program has effectively promoted with respect to proper waste management has practically filted people against people and not people against government or the other way around.
2. Unity of purpose, understanding and agreement among implementers and beneficiaries. The program was launched to impress upon the people that government collects garbage not as a right but only a privilege accorded to them.
Best example is the "Basura Mo, Alagaan Mo" program that was launched by the Marikina City government last 2000 under the leadership of then Mayor Bayani Fernando. The program was a response to the burgeoning problem on solid waste management. The city government adopted measures and took steps to ensure a healthy and clean environment for all. Responsibility for the enforcement of environmental laws on cleanliness, sanitation, solid waste management and other environmental matters were devolved to the LGUs as provided in the local government code (RA 7160). They were given the over-all responsibility to decide how communities' solid waste will be managed. Its responsibility lies in determining how services should be provided, who provides the service, and under what conditions this takes place.
The increasing urbanization, rapid swelling population and intensifying economic activities have all contributed to the generation of solid wastes. Education on solid waste management is very important not only to promote awareness but also to encourage one to be involved in its proper practice. But education cannot be achieved within the confines of schools alone. Being the sources/generators of garbage, people should assume responsibility in its proper management. The program erases the notion that government is solely responsible for garbage collection and disposal. It bears noting that Marikina residents generates 700 cubic meters of garbage which contributes to an average of 6 kilos of garbage in Metro Manila daily.
Way way before, Marikina was abundant with garbage everywhere - public markets, creeks, waterways and the Marikina river. The collection was only 20% of its garbage stockpile of uncollected garbage that was literally all over town. These scenario only resorted to the worsening of floods because of the clogged drainage system which can be attributed to improper waste disposal of the residents.
To reinforce the program, Goya Philippines was contacted by the city government to produce million pieces of "clean and green" candies which were being distributed to private and public elementary schools in the city. In the wrapper of the candies is an instruction which reads "Kung walang basurahang mapagtatapunan, mumunting basura ibulsa muna". This message was also encouraged to be passed on to family, friends and neighbors.
How did it measure up to its effectiveness? What were the factors that can be attributed to its success? Let me count the ways:
1. Social Acceptability and Social Preparation. The culture of discipline that the program has effectively promoted with respect to proper waste management has practically filted people against people and not people against government or the other way around.
2. Unity of purpose, understanding and agreement among implementers and beneficiaries. The program was launched to impress upon the people that government collects garbage not as a right but only a privilege accorded to them.
It also aims to educate the residents on the proper concealment in plastic bags along with the implementation of a policy of taking it out only during the days of collection. a penalty of 2,000 pesos or rendering of community service or donation of blood to the city blood bank will be imposed to any violators.
Public transportation were required to have a waste can to avoid littering anywhere. The program has even gone far in devolving responsibilities to the deputies at the barangay level. They were assigned to ensure the cleanliness of their barangay. Anyone caught violating the policy would be charged 100 pesos per liter which are accompanied by an official receipt.
3. Organization and leader's capability to implement. There is a presence of a critical mass of supporters and critics and an organized community.
4. Communication, commitment and coordination. There is clarity of purpose and direction. While the Waste Management Office (WMO) had its own field inspectors who go around the city to monitor people's compliance to city ordinance on proper waste management.
3. Organization and leader's capability to implement. There is a presence of a critical mass of supporters and critics and an organized community.
4. Communication, commitment and coordination. There is clarity of purpose and direction. While the Waste Management Office (WMO) had its own field inspectors who go around the city to monitor people's compliance to city ordinance on proper waste management.
In most cases it is the people themselves who take the initiative of reporting violators by calling the attention of WMO through telephone. The significant number of calls that they receive is a tangible proof of the people's commitment on the program.
5. Empowerment. They sought ways for an efficient and effective implementation of the program. garbage compactor trucks have to roll over the garbage for which they are not designed thus frequent equipment breakdown happen leading to total system failure. The above situation happens because of the lack of dump site maintenance. The long distance of the dump site from the collection point requires bigger pay loads to save on manpower in the collection of garbage and travel time from the collection point to the dump site.
5. Empowerment. They sought ways for an efficient and effective implementation of the program. garbage compactor trucks have to roll over the garbage for which they are not designed thus frequent equipment breakdown happen leading to total system failure. The above situation happens because of the lack of dump site maintenance. The long distance of the dump site from the collection point requires bigger pay loads to save on manpower in the collection of garbage and travel time from the collection point to the dump site.
While the paleros/collection laborers could be more effective picking-up garbage and loading them to garbage trucks, they spend most of their time travelling which is a waste of time and money therefore inefficiency takes place. Now, with the implementation of the program, the city can boast of high garbage collection efficiency rate of 98% (the highest in Metro Manila) with the lowest cost at 89 pesos per person per year.
6. Suitability of surefire solutions. The inefficiency of garbage collection was given solution through the introduction of proper engineering using Garbage Transfer Station. In this set-up, the small garbage compactor trucks collecting garbage from house to house transfer their loads into bigger trucks at the transfer station. The big ten-wheeler trucks that were used to take garbage to the dump site were more suitable to negotiate the steep terrain going to the dump site and can roll over the garbage without much damage to themselves.
7. Sufficient resources and support. The technology mentioned cost the government only 500,000 pesos. It is worthy to note that the frequency of garbage collection in residential areas is only twice a week. Daily collections is done in industrial/commercial areas and the public market zone.
6. Suitability of surefire solutions. The inefficiency of garbage collection was given solution through the introduction of proper engineering using Garbage Transfer Station. In this set-up, the small garbage compactor trucks collecting garbage from house to house transfer their loads into bigger trucks at the transfer station. The big ten-wheeler trucks that were used to take garbage to the dump site were more suitable to negotiate the steep terrain going to the dump site and can roll over the garbage without much damage to themselves.
7. Sufficient resources and support. The technology mentioned cost the government only 500,000 pesos. It is worthy to note that the frequency of garbage collection in residential areas is only twice a week. Daily collections is done in industrial/commercial areas and the public market zone.
The public has been very supportive of the program because they have seen the previous projects of the mayor which was successfully implemented. Marikina now constantly wins the "Cleanest and Greenest City".
Monday, January 28, 2008
The Green-Eyed Monster Sight
In The Merchant of Venice, 1600, the term green-eyed monster was possibly coined by Shakespeare to denote jealousy:
Portia: "How all the other passions fleet to air,As doubtful thoughts, and rash-embraced despair,And shuddering fear, and green-eyed jealousy! O love,Be moderate; allay thy ecstasy,In measure rein thy joy; scant this excess.I feel too much thy blessing: make it less,For fear I surfeit."
Thesaurus would define the phrase as a feeling of a jealous envy (especially of a rival). Visual Thesaurus aptly puts it as the process of paying close and continuous attention. Mapping it out further, jealousy is a type of alertness, watchfulness and vigilance.
How then do you differentiate envy from jealousy?
Sometimes it helps to be a couch potato because you learn things from other people. By other people, I mean the characters that I have love watching...the people who have made me company all through the early mornings when my insomniac attacks.
So I gathered, "Jealousy" is knowing that the other person has something that you want and that you are going to try harder to be able to get that thing. "Envy", on the other hand, is knowing that the other person has something that you want and that no matter how hard you try or no matter what you do, you won't be able to have it.
Since my memory gap is getting worst. I always forget to charge my i-pod thus I have to tune-in to the radio just to ignore my boredom. Listening to Wave 89.1 (the most influential radio....that's how they brand their station), I get through traffic getting life's real education. Just last week their topic for their eight-most-top answer segment was how to deal with jealousy. Out of those eight, I only remembered two : You get to talk him more about the thing/person you are jealous about which is like fishing out more information from him; Be open about what you feel and how you feel which means being honest.
Personally? Honestly? How do I carry on with the situation? Whenever I feel that surge of blood pinching through my heart, getting annoyed, feeling a gush of explosion from inside.... I just seem to keep it all to myself. I always think of the scandal it can get me through and the shameless admission that I am insecure. Indeed, Pride almost always overpowers any single sin that I am capable of.
Oh yes, for the petty little things that you get jealous of, it's a little easy to maneuver things and to achieve the things that you want when you know that you can have it. Your green-eyed monster sight should never get hold of you...the whole of you. Normal logic doesn't take place when it takes its course. You are ruled by your emotions and therefore your reactions are irrational. You don't succumb to the unreasonable feeling be it jealousy or envy. So the next time the green-eyed monster sight of yours attack, get a grip of yourself and analyze why and what is it that makes you want it. Who knows? You may find that at the end of it, that thing or person is not worth it after all.
Monday, January 21, 2008
The basics of gardening
What is gardening all about? How does one become a good gardener?
Why don’t we start with the basics? What supplies, right tool and equipment do you need in gardening? In any other jobs, one must choose the right tool and must know how to take care of them for a good outcome. Properly caring for gardening tools will make it easier and more fun for everyone.
For starters, one only needs to have a fertile soil, seeds, sun and water. We don’t even have to have a large backyard or land to put up a garden. We can even have gardening on a small pot or a can. We can make use of what we have and get started with the mini garden which is better with nothing at all.
Another factor that one should consider in gardening is the sun. However small or big a garden is, the fact is that sunlight is one important source of its life. Plants or flowers must get the most sunlight as evenly distributed as possible for the longest period of time.
Where there is sun, there should also be water. Gardening is as simple as knowing that everything should be kept in balance. In as much as sun is an important factor, water serves as the other basic element that is indeed significant to produce a lovely garden.
But even with all the supplies, right tools and equipment that we have, one must be able to have a heart for the green stuffs. For most gardeners, they enjoy doing what they do. It gives them joy and a sense of fulfillment after seeing what they have created, planted and what have blossomed out of their creation. Gardening is like one of those used and abused clichés ‘’you sow what you reap’’.
For some, gardening is an art. More than the job itself, landscaping the garden is a hobby or a passion which expresses the creativity, talent and views of the gardener. For others, gardening has been part and parcel of a community’s social aspects. Notice how people express their political or social views in a garden especially in modern Europe or North America.
While there may be various façade on which gardening has been placed to, it is clearly more than the practice of growing flowering plants, fruits and vegetables but a mere expression of mankind’s passion and care for mother nature.
Why don’t we start with the basics? What supplies, right tool and equipment do you need in gardening? In any other jobs, one must choose the right tool and must know how to take care of them for a good outcome. Properly caring for gardening tools will make it easier and more fun for everyone.
For starters, one only needs to have a fertile soil, seeds, sun and water. We don’t even have to have a large backyard or land to put up a garden. We can even have gardening on a small pot or a can. We can make use of what we have and get started with the mini garden which is better with nothing at all.
Another factor that one should consider in gardening is the sun. However small or big a garden is, the fact is that sunlight is one important source of its life. Plants or flowers must get the most sunlight as evenly distributed as possible for the longest period of time.
Where there is sun, there should also be water. Gardening is as simple as knowing that everything should be kept in balance. In as much as sun is an important factor, water serves as the other basic element that is indeed significant to produce a lovely garden.
But even with all the supplies, right tools and equipment that we have, one must be able to have a heart for the green stuffs. For most gardeners, they enjoy doing what they do. It gives them joy and a sense of fulfillment after seeing what they have created, planted and what have blossomed out of their creation. Gardening is like one of those used and abused clichés ‘’you sow what you reap’’.
For some, gardening is an art. More than the job itself, landscaping the garden is a hobby or a passion which expresses the creativity, talent and views of the gardener. For others, gardening has been part and parcel of a community’s social aspects. Notice how people express their political or social views in a garden especially in modern Europe or North America.
While there may be various façade on which gardening has been placed to, it is clearly more than the practice of growing flowering plants, fruits and vegetables but a mere expression of mankind’s passion and care for mother nature.
Monday, January 14, 2008
Life is like a puzzle. Sometimes you try to fit in the wrong piece. You are trying too hard to mount it even though the edges doesn't hold together. Sometimes you stare at the pieces not knowing what to do. No matter how much time you spent looking at it, you end up with nothing. Sometimes you try to joggle the pieces hoping to find the missing part.
This is how I view life. You get up in the morning and yawn out the day. You try to make out what's ahead of you. You do the usual things and head out to work. What does the future have for you? You just keep today coming. You really don't know what happens next. What you do know is that you have to do something to keep things going. You know that the sun will rise and the sun will set. You know that the moon and stars will show up tonight to light the sky. Everything seems to have a course on its own...a pace on its own....a destiny to be fulfilled...a dream to hold on to.
Life is like a puzzle. You can easily put up the corners as it simply shows the edges of life. But how do you put up the middle part? How do you look for something you don't know how and where to place? How do you put it all together without messing up your mind? Without thinking too hard? Can you do it on your own or just simply give it up? Do you have a sand time that tick tocks and pressures you in putting it up together. Or are you competing with yourself? It is up to you how you solve your own puzzle. Sometimes some ways doesn't make sense. Sometimes you think that how you do things is the best in solving things. Sometimes when you get tired and you think that nothing good will come out it, you just put the pieces away. This is how we are. This is how we think. This is our life.
This is how I view life. You get up in the morning and yawn out the day. You try to make out what's ahead of you. You do the usual things and head out to work. What does the future have for you? You just keep today coming. You really don't know what happens next. What you do know is that you have to do something to keep things going. You know that the sun will rise and the sun will set. You know that the moon and stars will show up tonight to light the sky. Everything seems to have a course on its own...a pace on its own....a destiny to be fulfilled...a dream to hold on to.
Life is like a puzzle. You can easily put up the corners as it simply shows the edges of life. But how do you put up the middle part? How do you look for something you don't know how and where to place? How do you put it all together without messing up your mind? Without thinking too hard? Can you do it on your own or just simply give it up? Do you have a sand time that tick tocks and pressures you in putting it up together. Or are you competing with yourself? It is up to you how you solve your own puzzle. Sometimes some ways doesn't make sense. Sometimes you think that how you do things is the best in solving things. Sometimes when you get tired and you think that nothing good will come out it, you just put the pieces away. This is how we are. This is how we think. This is our life.
Saturday, January 12, 2008
I know I'll never love this way again
In the stillness of the night, inside our own solitary confinement. The four dark corners of the room surrounds our haven. I lie awake, half-thinking, half-feeling the pounding of his heart as I relish the moment of our body entwined. The warmth of his arms embracing my body makes me shiver. I am enthralled with that sweet surrender. We own the night. A night that we hope would bring us to the fulfilment of our dreams.
Time slowly moves away as we build our own memories. Memories that we will always revere and reminisce. Bits and pieces of our time that we will always hold on to. Fragments of cherished moments that we will always carry with us wherever we go, whatever we do and whoever we are with. The hours seem like minutes, the minutes seem like seconds. The sandtime has not been our ally.
The song that lingers has not left my mind. I love music. I love the way it teaches me things. It gives me a chance to intensely express myself. My library speaks of me. I am a mixture of discipline but I equip myself not only with words but also with rhythm and melody. My collection showcases different genre but I guess I am not that gooey. I have known myself not to be an avid fan of the split-hairing, glass-cracking and mind-blowing voice of Regine but that one dazzling moment made me stop and appreciate everything else. The voice has just mesmerized me or is it just the way he held me? It was though the singer was serenading us making the night more intense and fervor. I felt the unwavering love, the passion, the tears and joy of togetherness. The music filled my heart with so much bliss that even Mr. Webster can't explain. Every word and beat makes me want to hold time in my hands and just lay there forever.
I love the way he loves me. I love how he feels about me. I love how he touches my soul and bring sunshine to a bright new day. How he brings me smile when no one else can. How he brings me joy and colors my dark blue sky. How he tames me with just one look in his eyes. How he warms the winter with words that speaks of summer.
I'd like to walk with him towards the end of the rainbow and find that pot of gold. I'd like to spend the rest of my life knowing that he will always be by my side. I'd like to take care of him and make him endlessly happy. I'd like to open my eyes with him on my shoulder from nightfall till the crack of dawn.
I know I've never felt this crazier. I am defined by logic. I can be unorthodox and radical at times but I've never tried something like this before. I have seen it in the movies and heard it from friends but I never thought that I would be part of their story. I have been asking for discernment though in my mind I know what I should be doing. My heart tells me otherwise. It is the sum of all fears that weakens me.... that hinders me to do the right thing. The thought of losing him is unbearable and even greater than what I've felt before. I hope he will always remember how much I will always love him. The good and bad times will always be with me. This much I know.....I'll never love this way again.
Time slowly moves away as we build our own memories. Memories that we will always revere and reminisce. Bits and pieces of our time that we will always hold on to. Fragments of cherished moments that we will always carry with us wherever we go, whatever we do and whoever we are with. The hours seem like minutes, the minutes seem like seconds. The sandtime has not been our ally.
The song that lingers has not left my mind. I love music. I love the way it teaches me things. It gives me a chance to intensely express myself. My library speaks of me. I am a mixture of discipline but I equip myself not only with words but also with rhythm and melody. My collection showcases different genre but I guess I am not that gooey. I have known myself not to be an avid fan of the split-hairing, glass-cracking and mind-blowing voice of Regine but that one dazzling moment made me stop and appreciate everything else. The voice has just mesmerized me or is it just the way he held me? It was though the singer was serenading us making the night more intense and fervor. I felt the unwavering love, the passion, the tears and joy of togetherness. The music filled my heart with so much bliss that even Mr. Webster can't explain. Every word and beat makes me want to hold time in my hands and just lay there forever.
I love the way he loves me. I love how he feels about me. I love how he touches my soul and bring sunshine to a bright new day. How he brings me smile when no one else can. How he brings me joy and colors my dark blue sky. How he tames me with just one look in his eyes. How he warms the winter with words that speaks of summer.
I'd like to walk with him towards the end of the rainbow and find that pot of gold. I'd like to spend the rest of my life knowing that he will always be by my side. I'd like to take care of him and make him endlessly happy. I'd like to open my eyes with him on my shoulder from nightfall till the crack of dawn.
I know I've never felt this crazier. I am defined by logic. I can be unorthodox and radical at times but I've never tried something like this before. I have seen it in the movies and heard it from friends but I never thought that I would be part of their story. I have been asking for discernment though in my mind I know what I should be doing. My heart tells me otherwise. It is the sum of all fears that weakens me.... that hinders me to do the right thing. The thought of losing him is unbearable and even greater than what I've felt before. I hope he will always remember how much I will always love him. The good and bad times will always be with me. This much I know.....I'll never love this way again.
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