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Saturday, January 12, 2008

I know I'll never love this way again




In the stillness of the night, inside our own solitary confinement. The four dark corners of the room surrounds our haven. I lie awake, half-thinking, half-feeling the pounding of his heart as I relish the moment of our body entwined. The warmth of his arms embracing my body makes me shiver. I am enthralled with that sweet surrender. We own the night. A night that we hope would bring us to the fulfilment of our dreams.

Time slowly moves away as we build our own memories. Memories that we will always revere and reminisce. Bits and pieces of our time that we will always hold on to. Fragments of cherished moments that we will always carry with us wherever we go, whatever we do and whoever we are with. The hours seem like minutes, the minutes seem like seconds. The sandtime has not been our ally.

The song that lingers has not left my mind. I love music. I love the way it teaches me things. It gives me a chance to intensely express myself. My library speaks of me. I am a mixture of discipline but I equip myself not only with words but also with rhythm and melody. My collection showcases different genre but I guess I am not that gooey. I have known myself not to be an avid fan of the split-hairing, glass-cracking and mind-blowing voice of Regine but that one dazzling moment made me stop and appreciate everything else. The voice has just mesmerized me or is it just the way he held me? It was though the singer was serenading us making the night more intense and fervor. I felt the unwavering love, the passion, the tears and joy of togetherness. The music filled my heart with so much bliss that even Mr. Webster can't explain. Every word and beat makes me want to hold time in my hands and just lay there forever.

I love the way he loves me. I love how he feels about me. I love how he touches my soul and bring sunshine to a bright new day. How he brings me smile when no one else can. How he brings me joy and colors my dark blue sky. How he tames me with just one look in his eyes. How he warms the winter with words that speaks of summer.

I'd like to walk with him towards the end of the rainbow and find that pot of gold. I'd like to spend the rest of my life knowing that he will always be by my side. I'd like to take care of him and make him endlessly happy. I'd like to open my eyes with him on my shoulder from nightfall till the crack of dawn.

I know I've never felt this crazier. I am defined by logic. I can be unorthodox and radical at times but I've never tried something like this before. I have seen it in the movies and heard it from friends but I never thought that I would be part of their story. I have been asking for discernment though in my mind I know what I should be doing. My heart tells me otherwise. It is the sum of all fears that weakens me.... that hinders me to do the right thing. The thought of losing him is unbearable and even greater than what I've felt before. I hope he will always remember how much I will always love him. The good and bad times will always be with me. This much I know.....I'll never love this way again.


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