A new vesion of me

Spontaneity has been one of my strong suits. I rarely make plans. I have my goals but a roadmap is never a thing for me. In a snap of a finger, I can easily grab the keys, turn on the switch, push the knob, pump up the volume and dash away to whereever the road will hit dead-end. Oh no, it's not just for fun and definitely for no reason at all. It is true for something worth the ticket.

You can only smile at fate when it takes a hand. Those thoughts that keep running in circles are far more dangerous than what a pen could do. At times when emotions take hold of me, I would fold and completely shut my brain out from processing anything before my tongue could deliver the message. It's like a bomb that ticks off when a trigger is set off.

Today, I just realized that tomorrow is not just a new day. It is miles away. I am drowned by the silence of waiting for the sun as I listen to my daughter mimicking every move as the movie repeatedly plays for the nth time. It is amazing how she can find something so fascinating at every scene as if it was her first time to see the movie. I just stare and smile...completely out of this world. Tomorrow, I said, needs a new version of me. Yes I know it seems contradicting when I said spontaneity is one of my strong suits. I don't know how and I don't know why but it's that spontaneous moment that sickens me...

I can only sigh and with each sigh I hope I can breathe out the stale air that seems to build up the heavy load. I must run, grab the keys, turn on the switch, push the knob, pump up the volume and dash away to the greater heights of the new version of me. So dance without me...dance without me.