Yes, I'm falling apart

You can't play on broken strings.  Tomorrow is yet another day to fulfill.  Hanging on by a thread to my sanity as each tick of the clock winds down in my mind.  

"The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time
I am here still waiting though i still have my doubts
I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out"

My scattered brain doesn't help out to think cohesively.  But when it comes to hearing things that reminds me of you and the things that we used to do or places to where we've been, it somehow sends a signal for my heart to beat and then be squeezed...

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing 
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain, there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you"

I never wished for all of these things to happen.  I did not ever want to be standing in the middle between a bullet and you and yet somehow I ended up there.   I knew I was strong enough to be just a friend ...you have unlocked the mystery in me and solved the maze and found the way to my heart and mind...

"The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head 
I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead
I still see your reflection inside of my eyes
That are looking for a purpose, they're still looking for life

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing 
with a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain (in the pain), is there healing
In your name (in your name) I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), 

I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), 

I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin')
I'm barely holdin' on to you"

You played me with words and I always hang on to it.  How could I be so blind?  It gives me comfort when I look into your eyes and hear you say, I will find a way.  A great actor.  I didn't see that until you came forward and bow down as the curtains closes the stage..leaving your audience with that dark and empty stage.

"I'm hangin' on another day 
Just to see what you throw my way
And I'm hanging on to the words you say
You said that I will be OK

The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone 
I may have lost my way now, haven't forgotten my way home"

Why? Why play along and leave me broken?....